You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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