Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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