Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize