I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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