but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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