I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
