mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She just used a chaser for red wine.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
