i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
