ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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