Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
