how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
