You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
