I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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