Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
