Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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