I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
