am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize