I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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