but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
