i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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