We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
