I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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