I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
