Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I AM VODKA MAN
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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