I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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