i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
