There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
