This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize