We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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