I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
