Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
