I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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