i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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