Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
