I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
