i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
