Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she woke up with a sticky ear
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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