Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
