Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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