I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
