She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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