Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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