sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
