I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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