I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
