Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
