So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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