so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the day after is always just damage control
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
