Don't you send me to vm
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
