I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
