When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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