He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The ass gains better be worth it
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