great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
