Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
