in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
