Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
