Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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