there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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