All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
