That's when you crack a 10am beer
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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