either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
