He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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